to free all those who trust in him

O Christ who comes among us

He Qi / Nativity

Peace on earth and mercy mild

God and sinners reconciled

No more let sin and sorrow grow

nor thorns infest the ground

He comes to make his blessings flow

far as the curse is found

walking after dark

Alder smoke and a lingering fear of dogs accompany my footsteps, the smell of Honduras fills my sleeping nose.

Last night I dreamed again of that haunting scene, playing out in so many faces and landscapes: the inability to stop someone from hurting you.

And you, I am sure, have forgotten the time you told her not to feel like you loved her baby sister more than you loved her, only that you could already tell you had much more in common with the baby and that you would simply probably connect more. But the girl you told was only eleven, and had never even considered those things before you spoke them.

And sometimes she wonders--could she have done anything differently to earn your liking? Why such strong disinclination, distaste, rejection from the very beginning? Was it that she took away your freedom? Became another object of love for your wife? Was it a lack in intelligence, in beauty, in maturity that pushed you away?

It is odd how much these things stick with us. Dreams, fears. The memories that tell the story of your life.

There are those we pray for without hope for change (some of my students' parents, for example, or one imprisoned for repeat molestation), and I wonder if this hurts G-d. How could a Being have seen even more than us and yet not give up, not quit hurting and speaking kindness and inviting? This is so far from my experience.

But I've been thinking of Incarnation, bodily, what it means that G-d actually became skin and bone and blood. Because if Incarnation is true and real, we are not redeemed from our bodies; we are redeemed in our bodies.

From possession and transactions of trade and brokered agreements based on meeting unmeetable needs, or at least needs we cannot meet in each other. From addiction and destructive behaviors. From self-loathing and from vanity. Who stands stranger to these things?

I believe in freedom, that to become free from even the deepest wounds is possible, and the only way to get there is through Incarnation. Through Jesus Christ, who entered into the suffering, the bleeding, the mess. Who does not turn away.

But sometimes I wish I knew of an easier way.

still most loved after all these years

O! Holy night! The stars, their gleams prolonging,
Watch o'er the eve of our dear Saviour's birth.
Long lay the world in sin and error, longing
For His appearance, then the Spirit felt its worth.
A thrill of hope, the weary world rejoices,
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn...

He knows our need, to our weakness is no stranger,
Behold your King! Before Him lowly bend!
Behold your King, Before Him lowly bend!

Truly He taught us to love one another;
His law is love and His gospel is peace.
Chains shall He break for the slave is our brother;
And in His name all oppression shall cease.
Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we,
Let all within us praise His holy name.


Read the literal translation from the French here.

The first snow!

Woke up to three or four inches this morning
(now we know Sister Winter is on her way).

And in other news:
Aung San Suu Kyi was released today from house arrest.

Pray for Burma.

tourist trap / bright eyes

there's people here but you are gone
and i find myself still swimming through time,
afraid some days i've reached the shore
"make yourself free," a man said to me
and now my heart is an open door

[again, my trans-atlantic heart]

For that sweet southern one, telling meaningful stories that always make me cry

For the bright-hearted one from the mountains who is so loyal and brave

For she who studies theology and sexuality, who doesn't see the world in dichotomy, who laughs and writes well

For that most faithful(l) pen-pal

For that married red-head dancer, always up for a hike, bike ride, or poetry reading

For that island child, a running partner with an open mind and heart

For that sister you gave back who reminds me that You matter so much, even when it feels foolish

For the one who sat with me in cold hospital rooms and who held my hand on the streets of San Francisco (how I miss her!)

For the artist who has poured so much wisdom & creativity into me, who continues to believe in me

For the one who sleeps next to me each night, makes coffee in the morning, & is so passionate about theatre

For the one in France who makes me laugh harder than anyone I know

For the one in England who cares, whose heart is large & receptive, who is just so smart

& for the one who is finally back, a new roommate, that beautiful guitar-player singing sweet melodies

For these dear, dear women in my life, I am overwhelmed & grateful.

For every Iraqi,

for every Palestinian, for every refugee in Darfur, woman in the Congo, child in Zimbabwe:

“The people walking in a land of deep darkness have seen a great light. They rejoice before you as people rejoice at the harvest, for you have shattered the yoke that burdens them, the bar across their shoulders, the rod of their oppressor. Every warrior's boot used in battle and every garment rolled in blood will be destined for burning, will be fuel for the fire. For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will rest on his shoulders. And he will be called Prince of Peace. Of the increase of his government and peace there will be no end."

For every American, for every terrorist, for every imperialist, for every dictator,
even from your identity as Oppressor, there is freedom.

The one called Peace is coming.