2.22.2008

[the unspeaking center of her monologues]

There is too much to trust, these days. God can be so damn demanding. I just remembered I don't know anything ("Oh, right!"), and probably it is high time to move to Northern India and run from the scene that's so intense, that's weirding me out too much.

Does anyone know when 20 year-olds stop feeling like 12 year-olds? Or even 6 year-olds? Or do the feelings of being totally unprepared for and surprised by and overwhelmed with life never go away?

2 comments:

ajn said...

may be we never will.
may be that`s the beauty of it all?

lisa said...

What if you were prepared? I wonder what that would look like.

What if it wasn't surprising? Wouldn't that be like like having a heart of stone?

What if life was underwhelming you? I think that would be really depressing.

"Hush now, the angels are singing your song now, they're watching you sleep as they whisper dreams into your dreams and fill you with hope again.... again..."

Do you know what a huge and complicated disaster the problems of Africa are? And that's just one continent.

Am I prepared? Hardly. Am I not surprised and overwhelmed? Yes, I am.

Should I give up?

Not likely.