2.11.2013

prelude: Ash Wednesday

I have apologized more times than one
    have paid my dues to the thistle and the thorn
and many times have I thought,
    this flame is enough!

have faced my own wickedness with something akin to despair
or, 
    infinitely more cowardly, 
        refused to face it

Yet I will fathom the depths of my aggression,
    my heartbreak and longing, my entitlement and greed

        and turn, turn

Turn to You  
Turn into your face, your gaze, your solid chest

Turn to cry, 'Change me!' 
'Leave me not alone!'

O you who pulled me from the pit,
who breathed,
and your breath dispersed my darkness:
    do not forget me
        and do not pass me by!

I recognize (though I hardly understand)
I am ashes and dust

But you come, 
you invite
your warmth, 
your eyes

Lord Jesus Christ, 
    I receive you 
        
into my twisted heart.