porque yo siempre salĂ­a

There comes a point when you have to decide:

Do I want to be tortured, or do I want to be whole?


list of ideas to not feel empty

-go shopping
-dress like Beyonce
-look reaalll good
-swim in the ocean (more than once a day)
-walk, walk, walk
-loosen up with a drink
-go to Espresso Americano without guilt
-sit in the sand
-write loads
-read something by Jane Austen
-talk to Benjamin, a beautiful black Garifuna man who gave me his own handmade coconut shell earrings today, with the advice that,
´´When I see a woman without earrings it is like seeing a person walking on the street without shoes.´´


on things too great for me to understand

I held the hand of the old man ever since he went blind
then everything changed, nothing is the same
but I never left his side

I´ve seen the walls, and they all fall down
I´ve felt the wind, its whipped us all
if you have give a coin or two,
if you don´t, a smile will do

Have mercy on me
Have mercy on me
Have mercy, have mercy
Have mercy on me

(thanks Trevor / the way much)


for those who know they thirst

You see, I want a lot.
Maybe I want it all:
the darkness of each endless fall,
the shimmering light of each ascent.

So many are alive who don’t seem to care.
Casual, easy, they move in the world
as though untouched.

But you take pleasure in the faces
of those who know they thirst.
You cherish those
who grip you for survival.

You are not dead yet, it’s not too late
to open your depths by plunging into them
and drink in the life
that reveals itself quietly there.


sentence selections

Today I am not discouraged about my students´ English. Still, I could not help but laugh a bit reading their spelling homework. Gerson, one of my brighter students, writes:

1) I use a umbrella cover from the rain. (not too bad!)
2) I speak English. (Okay.)
3) (?)
4) I remembrance the table of six. (In all fairness, why is remembrance a word this week anyway?)
5) The circus has function at 9:00pm.
6) Keidy and Gerson has a goggles for swim.
7) I complain to the horrible food. (Straight to its face, eh?)
8) I had merchandise on the food market.
9) I had an expression happy. (Hey, he got the an right!)
10) I don´t had distust to Ana. (Not sure the state of Ana and Gerson´s relationship).

What is that Mary Oliver line about the trees? These kids.

I would almost say they save me,
and daily.


[Tip # __

You know you might be in trouble when death by bus accident seems a desirable way of getting out of the mess.


mango season

Dust-covered roads and smoked sky
I am living between fires,
trail-running at their bruised and blackened edges
cleared brush and lenten earth
Bathing does not wash the dirt coating off my ankle bones
and in the crevices of my feet.
Narrow northern feet,
walking in a foreign land.

Now I recognize the hunger in your eyes,
as well as their perspicacity
I examine it loosely with my fingertips
trembling veined hands deciphering a braille of images,
recorded memories:
of men sleeping in the street,
roosters strutting in filthy graveyards of plastic and glass
blooming jacaranda trees.
Incongruous puzzle pieces
like the one you showed me,
the one you are building.

Doors and windows wide open invite non-existent breezes
Maseca season has left me dryer for him than I knew.